In other news, I am currently living in Portland, Maine for the month doing a NICU rotation. It is pretty much awesome! I love being with the babies all day, however, it is a hard rotation with long hours and sad stories. I am in the highest level NICU and we have some very sick babies, which is stressful and scary. My first day I was given the responsibility of caring for two of the babies, which made me so nervous since I had no idea what I was doing. However, my babies behaved themselves and I had a good day. The next day they gave me a baby on a vent. Ahh! The day was kinda nuts but it went fine. Since then, I have been able to see the birth of a 25 week old girl, 25 week old twins, a 27 week old boy and several 34 week kids. I can't believe how small the 25 week babies are! It is crazy. Their feet are about an inch long and they weight about 14 ounces! My smallest babe was a little over 2 lbs when I got him but now he is much larger (a whole 3 lbs!). He is adorable and I just want to give him kisses. All of this scares the crap out of me and makes me very nervous to have my own babies. It also makes me question going into ob/gyn. Hmmm....
I have had a few interviews for ob/gyn and one for fm. I have a lot more interviews to go. I keep running through things in my head..should I go into ob/gyn or should I go into fm and have a better lifestyle, a better chance to have a good family life, and be able to do ob and peds in my practice? I am very confused and feel like I have run out of time. I am not sure what to do! I should have just applied to FM residencies in places I might want to live. Dangit! Although, I think I would still be happy matching OB. What should I do? I am so passionate about OB but I want to have a good life too....shoot.
What is FM?
ReplyDeleteI totally understand your struggle and often times have that same struggle myself. I think the more you move in one direction, you'll realize what it is you want or don't want, you know? If you keep thinking you want one thing, and go towards that, and keep having the feeling that you don't want it, you probably shouldn't pursue that. But if you feel like you can have both, then that's a good thing. WOW. This is really good advice (sarcasm).
You're like...KATE! WELL, OBVIOUSLY. lol.